Kefka

I had a nice long post about playing Final Fantasy VI, but Blogger decided to be shitty as fuck and delete it right out of my edit-window while trying to save. Thanks, Blogger!

Anyway. Let's try this again.

I'm playing Final Fantasy VI now, as well. If you've played it before, you will understand my hatred of fighting Kefka in the mines at Narshe. There's no warning that he's coming, and essentially no way to grind ahead of time once you realize he's showing up.

I don't mind grinding. If the game has a fun combat system, grinding can be the best part. It's even better when the game you're playing has a recognizable dungeon stucture, so you can prepare for the boss battles by grinding the whole level over and over again. Maybe it's just me, but I didn't really see this boss battle coming.

You go into the mines to find the Esper from the start of the game. While you're in there, expecting that your boss battle will be with the powerful magical being, Kefka shows up with twelve squadrons of men, who you proceed to fight. Obviously, you can opt to not fight all of his goons, but I always do. When you get to Kefka, however, he's a monstrosity with over 3000HP. He slays your little sub-group, presumably by casting Ice 2 every second round, and his health resets.

This means, obviously, that if you didn't structure your groups properly at the beginning of this battle, Kefka takes his massive, uncircumsized cock, and shoves it roughly into your ass, repeatedly, until you die of massive internal bleeding. I could have set my teams up the way GameFAQs suggests. One group containing the swordsman Bastin, the renegade General Juka, King Colt's brother Morse, and irritatingly flimsy protagonist Terra. The other, presumably, containing King Colt, Momo the wildling boy, and John Locke the incompetant thief. This sounds great, until you realize one group has both healers, all the powerhouse characters, and the magical lightning rod. So your other group gets to spend all its time using potions in between rounds of mediocre damage. That's wonderful! Just how I want to spend a battle; constantly healing.

Speaking of healing. You're tasked in this same level to protect some guy. Mannon or Mandon or Bandon or something like that. When he was in your party, he could heal awesomely. One move and he'd give everyone an extra 200HP. But now, all he can do is tell you to keep people away from him. How about you heal my parties, you fucker? That'll keep the badguys away from you.