Thursday, August 28, 2008

Book Drive

Current status of books:

Sharpe's Eagle: DECEASED, Awarded Posthumous Medal of Valour
Sharpe's Rifles: DECEASED
Old Man's War: DECEASED, Awarded Green Heart
The Lies of Locke Lamora: Missing In Action
Night of Knives: Active
Watchmen: Discharged, S.8 (re: Kovacs, W.)

I've recently picked up the following:
Judas Priest: Heavy Metal Painkillers - I love this band. However, I've actually had this book since July and haven't done much with it. Silly of me, but it's BIG and UNWIELDY.
Toll the Hounds - Jesus, I had no idea this was out so soon. I go to see Judas Priest in concert, and while I'm killing time at Chapters, I see this book, let out a yip of delight, and buy it on the spot. It is a deadly, blunt-trauma tome. I plan to muscle through it this long weekend. Motherfucker, is Steven Erikson ever a goddamn writing machine. Christ. And he puts out good novels, too, which is the incredible part.
Bauchelain and Korbal Broach: Volume 1 - So... instead of getting two books, I got one compilation with a third book I didn't even know existed. Sweet deal. Thanks, overly generous father-in-law!
Shake Hands With the Devil: The Failure of Humanity in Rwanda - I have been looking for this book since the dawn of Time. It's a huge seller here, and bookstores can't keep it on shelves long enough for people to find; so of course, when I'm not looking for it, there's a fuckton. Of course. BUT NOW IT IS MINE.
How to Lose a Battle - Seemed funny, like a more historical, less absurd-tech based My Tank is Fight!, which I loved. I enjoy reading about peoples' stupidity.
The Volunteer: A Canadian's Secret Life in the Mossad - I don't know why I got this, honestly. I'm not Jewish, and all I know about the Mossad is from Steven Spielberg's Munich, which was a good movie up until the part where the Israeli athletes turned out to have been killed by Greys. Also, Eric Bana neglected to Hulk out when he smashed the terrorists. Puny human.

All I can say about my book haul is that, so far, I have enjoyed the books I read. I did read part of Old Man's War from the eBook, because I didn't feel like getting out of bed.

Also, cosplayers scare me. If I ever see a 13-year-old dressed up as Sora from Kingdom Hearts again, it will be far too soon.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

It's curious...

Watching the sheer volume of pornography that I do, I have noticed a curious thing. Female stars are expected to perform with other female stars, i.e. lesbian action. In a hetero movie, there is almost always one scene with two chicks, sometimes also a man, who all get it on. If two male actors are in a scene together, they're on opposite sides of the woman, and the closest they get to gayness is sticking their dicks in the same hole.

Now, this is not a complaint by any means. I am not saying I want to watch men fuck the shit out of each other. However. It is patently unfair to the women in these films. Maybe Brooke Haven doesn't WANT to fuck a woman. But to make it in porn, she has to. It's part of the job of a porn starlet. (I bring up Brooke because she has, apparently, vowed to no longer do scenes with men anymore, presumably because she doesn't like being CHOKESLAMMED and GAGGED WITH MONSTER COCKS all the time. But working with other women won't change this; the monster cocks will become monster strap-ons, and Nicki Hunter will still chokeslam the shit out of Brooke, so nothing has really changed.)

Basically, what I'm saying is... if Lee Stone is in a scene with Jean Valjean, they should at least kiss, or fondle each other. They don't have to suck each others' cocks, but at least acknowledge one another in a orgiastic way. Because, frankly, I've watched enough gay porn to know how shoddy a lot of it is, and a quality straight actor like Lee would do a ton to improve those films. A bunch of twinky Czech guys just don't put on a good show, I'm sorry.

Pay attention to the men the next time you watch a skin flick. They studiously ignore each other. Even when they're banging the same girl, they never look at each other, never speak to one another, nothing.

And, let's be honest. Men aren't the only consumers of pornography anymore, if ever they were. Why should women who don't like girl/girl have to deal with it? I say, put some boy/boy in the hetero movies to make the men uncomfortable, too. Or just remove the girl/girl stuff to its' own films.


Friday, August 1, 2008

Books for the Book Throne! BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!

I bought a handful of books today.

Old Man's War, by John Scalzi - I've had the eBook of this for months now, and never fucking touched it. Not for lack of interest, just... I hate eBooks, generally. I like having the book in my hands, yet I download all of Tor's eBook offerings. Someday, perhaps, I will give a shit and read them. I ended up getting this purely off how much I enjoy Scalzi's blog.

Sharpe's Eagle & Sharpe's Rifles, by Bernard Cornwell - I enjoy the terrific Sharpe movies produced by the BBC what seems like ages ago. I adored Sean Bean long before I saw them, and Sharpe didn't hurt that at all. So I got these; Eagle is the first published novel and second film, and Rifles is the first film, and like... 7th novel published? It's fucked because Eagle is supposed to be Sharpe adventure #7, and Rifles is #5. Or something. I just hope they don't suck.

Night of Knives, by Ian C. Esslemont - Mmm, Malazan goodness. In lieu of a new book from Erikson (Toll the Hounds cannot come out soon enough,) I get to read a sidestory by the other guy who invented the Malazan world. Is this sweet? Seems likely. One day, I will actually receive my copies of Blood Follows and The Healthy Dead, but I'm not holding my breath.

The Lies of Locke Lamora, by Scott Lynch - My favorite author of all time says this book is good. Who am I to argue? And with a title like that, you know the potential for awesome "comedy of errors" is lurking in every blast of dialogue.

I'll post more about them as I finish each book. But first, I have to finish rereading Heroes Die. I only have a few months until Caine Black Knife shows up in my mailbox, and I still have to reread Blade of Tyshalle first!

Oh, and because I've just got a seriously unfunny post about Hellboy II sitting unfinished in Blogger's queue, and I can't figure out a way to salvage it, let me just say this. It was decent, but not something I think I'd ever buy or see again, if I could help it. (My clever title for the post was "Au-rmy.") I'll just watch the first film again if I ever require more Ron Perlman.